Have you ever felt worn thin from doing a lot for others? Have you ever tried thinking of how to help someone with a problem when it seems they aren’t thinking for themselves? How about when it seems like that person is always looking to you for the solution?

Many times, we become really busy being the solution for others- always offering advice or extending ourselves, when they truly have other options. As a result, we are innocently delaying them from finding the best solution for themselves. Read how our Community Program Coordinator, Helen, discovered just that.

“These last four years, I have been on a mission to be there for everyone else but forgetting to be there for myself. Then one day I found myself having a headache, which is something I rarely have, and it hit me!

Suddenly, I had an insight: it is time for a well-deserved rest in order to be a healthier version of myself. For the past few months, I have been on this “Sabbatical from doing good” as I like to call it. Does that mean I have stopped doing all things good? No! I’ve simply realized that it’s okay to say no sometimes and I don’t have to be the solution to everyone else’s problems. Since I had this insight, I have had more energy, I have not had any headaches and my body is well rested. I continue to do good deeds but always keeping my wellbeing intact. Since I’ve stopped answering my phone with every ring, I’ve found that by the time I do return calls, the caller has usually found their own solution.” -Helen Neal-Ali

Helen brushed on a key point “I don’t have to be the solution to everyone else’s problems.”

You see, sometimes when we figure out a problem for others, we may actually be hindering them, instead of helping them. We all have natural wisdom inside. If you are busy being everyone’s solution, then you aren’t allowing their natural wisdom to kick in and be their own solution.

We aren’t suggesting people shouldn’t help other people. After all, that’s the foundation of The Cypress Initiative. We are simply suggesting your “help” may, in fact, be a contribution rather than a solution. Sometimes, no matter how logical or obvious it seems to you, your solution won’t succeed because it wasn’t meant for your creation. The person you are trying to help has this natural spark that will come forward when their personal thinking is given space. It’s a human thing- we all have it. By stepping back and allowing their natural wisdom to create the solution that was meant for their problem, you are providing the greatest gift you can give.

Let us know what you think of this by leaving a comment. Share with us if this helps you in any way!

Wishing you all love and lots of amazement,

The Cypress Initiative

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