Have you ever felt worn thin from doing a lot for others? Ever been caught up thinking about how to help someone with a problem? Does it seem like you’re always the one who people look to for a solution?
As helpers, we often keep ourselves busy being the solution for others – always offering advice, or extending ourselves. What we don’t always see, is that they may have other options. Sometimes, by inserting ourselves in their issues, we are innocently keeping them from finding the best solution for themselves.
Our friend Helen, discovered just that:
“These last four years, I have been on a mission to be there for everyone else, but forgetting to be there for myself. Then, one day I found myself having a headache, which is something I rarely have, and it hit me! Suddenly, I had an insight: it is time for a well-deserved rest in order to be a healthier version of myself.
For the past few months, I have been on this “Sabbatical from doing good” as I like to call it. Does that mean I have stopped doing all things good? No! I’ve simply realized that it’s okay to say “no” sometimes. That I don’t have to be the solution to everyone else’s problems.
Since I had this insight, I’ve had more energy, haven’t had any headaches, and my body is well rested. I continue to do good deeds but always keeping my wellbeing intact. Since I’ve stopped answering my phone with every ring, I’ve found that by the time I do return calls, the caller has usually found their own solution.”
Helen brushed on a key point “I don’t have to be the solution to everyone else’s problems.”
You see, sometimes when we figure out a problem for others, we may actually be hindering them, instead of helping them. We all have natural wisdom inside. If you are busy being everyone’s solution, then you aren’t allowing their natural wisdom to kick in.
We aren’t suggesting you shouldn’t help other people. After all, that’s the foundation of The Cypress Initiative!! We are simply suggesting your “help” can be a contribution rather than a solution. Sometimes, no matter how logical or obvious it seems to you, your solution won’t succeed because it wasn’t meant for another.
The person you are trying to help has their own natural SPARK that will always come forward when their personal thinking is given space. It’s a human thing- we all have it. By stepping back and allowing their natural wisdom to create the solution that was meant for their problem, you are providing the greatest gift you can give.
Wishing you love and lots of amazement,
The Cypress Initiative